WEIGHT ... and other advice

I work with cancer patients and they are sometimes very insightful. I'm not sure if its because they are for the most part older or because many of my patients are very sick. And you reach a pinnacle point in your life where everything is finally CLEAR. Today one of the patients I treated a while ago came in and saw the doctor for her follow up. She had no idea I had gotten married and was very happy to hear that I had done so. She took my left hand, held it in both of hers and stated, "There is a lot of weight here." I immediately thought she was speaking of my diamond. Then she followed it with, "Oh, and your diamond is very nice." I asked what she meant by "WEIGHT". She told me people take marriage too lightly. Getting married today and divorced tomorrow. What happened to death do us part? What happened to sticking with someone no matter what? I looked at her with innocence or stupidity and had the sweetest smile on my face; as I said that the Lord willing we will stay together. I am ready to work.... work very hard to make my marriage stand the test of time. She peered into my eyes long enough for it not to feel awkward. Giving me a look that could pierce my soul; and proceeded to tell me that she hopes I am ready to do just that. Marriage is very hard work.(In my head I think.... I know) You may get up one day in love and lay down that same night angry. (Again in my head... I thought you weren't suppose to go to bed angry. ) People say never go to bed angry but sometimes it happens. (Been there, done that... workin on it.) You may wake up the next day; or even the next week the same angry attitude. (Damn...is she in my head too) The key is to stay in love. (But how?) If you can still look at him, angry as hell and possible even hurt, and love something deep inside of him so much it confuses you; hold on to that feeling. That feeling will bring you to forgiveness and soon you will even forget. I will never forget her words.

I was also told before my wedding by a lady in the beauty salon never to fall out of love at the same time. She told me how she and her husband had both been married before; and the people they divorced were not bad people. They just didn't know how to handle certain situations with that person. They have spoken about troubles the had with their previous relationship, and have had some similar argument. But now they are wiser. They are constantly learning NOT only how to respect and learn from each others faults, but how to grow closer together as we versus me. (Another topic, another day) If they knew then what they know now, maybe they would still be married to the other people. Don't fall out of love at the same time. (Interesting concept)

The beauty shop lady also brought up Will and Jada Smith's marriage. Jada said in an interview there is no divorce in their marriage. They may have to sleep in separate rooms for a while, but NO DIVORCE. Which somehow tied into not falling out of love at the same time. I just can't quite remember how or what she said. (Sorry) But it made me realize sometimes you may have to go through extremes to see your marriage through. And many days you may have to pull double and triple shifts because someone else is not pulling their entire married weight. I pray it doesn't go to that extreme for us.