ME VERSUS WE

So I asked the universe how do married people go from me to we? How do we stop thinking of me, me, me all the time and think WE? Here are some of the answers.... at least the ones worth mentioning.


We did that way before marriage. Relationships are all about Teamwork.

It's called, "growing up."

It usually takes a few good arguments about being selfish or inconsiderate.I agree, you should have been that way before marriage.


It's not marriage-it's a more broad mentality-doesn't have to do with being married. When you care about other people, it happens naturally and when you care just about yourself then that's the way you are. but you can make the choice to evolve towards a change, married or not. Focus on what would make the other person happy. In the large scheme, we are happier when those around us are happy and that "giving" is more satisfying than "getting" in a certain way.

It's good to think of yourself as an individual and use the term "me and I " every so often. Start including your husband in the things you do as "me" and vice versa this will create a "we' bond. Well if it wasn't about the both of you before marriage why did you get married. It becomes a "we" when you know it's who you want to be with and make life with.

That should have happened before the marriage. I think I just had an epiphany on the crises in marriages in this country.

This takes some time but one day it just happens automatically and you two become one. First you two must learn how to live and survive together before the magic moment happens so be patient and it will happen.

Work hard on getting used to we and not me, as this is many a time the beginning of setting yourself up for disaster.

aww..well..looks difficult but could be easy...if he loves you...be together like a team..and don't try to be opposite to him...just have a nice dialogue showing a little your opinion gently...asking for help when you need all the time...is common...even if he is a man...and more...because he is a man and he is stronger...be close to him stay close to him...caress him...ask him to hold you...don't fight avoid showing that you don't like this at him...etc...better appreciate him..and he will pay attention and will be on your side...and will tell the child ...listen to your mom...etc when you are together you have to be together...pray for him also...take a walk hand in hand..in forest park..rest on his shoulder..so it is man and woman...always on his side ...and he will be on your side also.

We did it right away, from the moment we met. It's how you establish a relationship to begin with.

Never stop thinking about your desires and wishes. Its just now.... you have made a new commitment to consider others. And note the words "consider others". Just because your clothes dry faster in dryer a as opposed to dryer b....don't mean you gotta use dryer a......however dryer a comes in handy, when you may be in a rush. You may find that sometimes your desires or position is unreasonable....or that maybe you been getting your way disproportionally lately. If that be the case....compromise is in order....or just plan conceding all together. If its all about winning for you.....your relentless pursuit for victory at all cost.....will make the battles much more intense. And of course, there will be a winner, and a loser, and that's unfortunate.

It comes from variations of a tit for two tats.Watch this Numb3rs episode:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzddJ4Tye…Here is the game "tit for tat" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tit_for_tatIf you live eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth then the whole world ends up blind and toothless. It is a losing strategy. If you are willing to be enlightened-selfish then it is one step in the right direction. You are much less self-sabotaging. A human being can smell selfish - and if you are married to them then they see you all the time - you can't hide it. It adds a foul taste to all human interactions. If you can both live in a tit for two tats strategy then after a while it gets easier and easier to give up being selfish and self-protective.It takes time and commitment.Read "A lasting promise" because there are four marriage-killers - behavior patters that are 100% lethal to every relationship. http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/B… Make sure that you don't have those guaranteed game-overs hanging over your marriage.

It takes time. Don't listen to the people who say you should be like that before marriage. Marriage is nothing like dating. And every relationship is different. Usually, it takes getting through some rough problem together to really feel the "we" factor. It will come if you two stick together through the rough times. It's only then that you really know what marriage is about and what it is to be a team. You can talk about it and say it, but you don't really feel it until you get through some difficult stuff together.